Vesuvius

I woke up to the a group chat firing shots at each. Not decent, grounded and justifiable shots just cheap, explosive and angry jibes. I felt obliged to attempt to soothe the air but then I realised it wasn’t my circus and they definitely weren’t my monkeys. You know that deep breathe you take and the slow but extensive exhale you make when your eyebrows are raised and the tension is rife? Well that was me this morning.

Somebody else, with more authority than myself drew a thick black line underneath it and the anger just sat there bubbling away until somebody else changed the subject.

It got me thinking about relationships and the interactions we have with others. There are so many people we are forced to spend time with, to be civil with and sometimes I wonder why? Why do I have to be nice to you? Why can I not tell you my honest opinion of how I feel towards you? Why do so many of your actions make me angry… and why is it not acceptable to unleash that anger?

I’m a lot less angry than I used to be. “Vesuvius” my family used to call me. A dramatic and strong name but also a devastating and fearsome title to give to a young girl heading into womanhood. It made me look at myself, at my behavior and I’ve worked hard to keep the boiling blood hidden on the inside.

I often feel smug when grown adults around me lose their cool, when their blood boils over and they erupt with anger. Not because I thrive on the destructive trail that it leaves behind but because they don’t seem to know how to control it. They haven’t mastered the ability to bit their lip and tilt their head until the frustration pours away.

That’s not to say that I always do that, I certainly don’t always keep my cool but I’ve come a long way and I find it easy to see when it’s brewing in others. It intrigues me how we’re all so angry. So angry at the world for it’s injustice. Angry at our colleagues for not doing something. Angry at the driver who just cut us up. If you really think about it how many times have you cut somebody up whilst driving? Be Honest. How often do we say we’ll do something, yet it slips our mind and then our colleague is asking about the finished product? I know you’ve done this at some point in your working life. We ourselves are not perfect. And yes… the world is full of injustice but is getting angry about it actually going to fix the problem?

Probably not.

That’s not to say that you should never get angry. I actually believe a little rant every so often is healthy, as long as it’s not directly at somebody. That’s toxic and causes lasting tension that takes time to fix. It’s good to rant and it’s good to get angry but in my experience it’s always the angry person who comes off looking worse, regardless of who is actually in the wrong in the first place.

If I could give one piece of advice regarding being angry it would be that 9 times out of 10 – you can probably just bite your lip and tilt your head until the anger passes. However on that 10th time when it has gone beyond a head tilt and a twisted lip, take your time and remember that yes, Vesuvius was devastating but it was calculated, inevitable, determined and it was acknowledged.

Prompted by The Daily Post; Angry

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